Though I have now lived here for almost two years, there are some things that I am not yet used to. Many of these have to do with manners - Austrians and Americans have a different idea of what is polite.
Let me start by saying that I in no way mean to offend anyone. These are my observations, and they are generalizations. They are things I have witnessed and had to come to terms with while here.
The reason for this post is that yesterday I was told by multiple people that I looked tired. I must have looked really awful; however I feel that at home, the people you work with would generally refrain from coming up to you and commenting on how tired your eyes look. That's the job of your close friends and relatives. But here, it seems that it's just a way of making small talk.
Austrians and Americans do have a different idea of what constitutes acceptable small talk. Americans will ask "how are you?" as a way of being polite; Austrians will give you an honest answer. A fine example is this excerpt from an actual conversation with a teacher:
"How are you today?"
"Fine, thanks! You?"
"Actually not too good, I've got a bad case of diarrhea."
".............."
My poor American mind didn't (and still does not) know what to do with so much information. I would generally say that my stomach is "off" or upset or something. Bowel movements are, again, restricted to conversations with your close friends and relatives (and even then it's a little much sometimes).
One thing I only recently mastered was the fact that, here in Salzburg, it is essential to greet the room when you walk in. In the teachers' lounge you need to say hello. This is perhaps not that different from home. However, what is different is that you do the same when walking into a store. I have finally committed to saying "Grüß Gott!" when I enter a store, and saying goodbye when I leave.
What I have not yet mastered, however, is doing the same when I enter and leave the locker room at the gym. Fully clothed, I have no problems with greeting everyone. Greeting a room full of half naked women that I have never met is a different story. But that's the way it's done, so I try my best even though I find it horribly uncomfortable.
This topic of what differs between Austria and America will, I'm sure, be very present in my blogs as I come to terms with the fact that I will be leaving very soon. For now, if you're interested in more differences between small talk styles, read this article on the differences between British and German small talk. I know, it's not the same as America and Austria, but much of it still applies.
Showing posts with label lost in translation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost in translation. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Austrian Gems
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| My favorite graffiti in Salzburg. It brightens my day every time I see it. |
Lately I have been reading the Book of Awesome online, which has helped me appreciate the smaller things in life. Teaching is a job full of little victories: sometimes you're the hero, sometimes you're the villain, and sometimes you have to fall into the background (even if you don't want to). I've had my fair share of good and bad days; some days have extreme highs and extreme lows together. Wednesday of this week was one of those days where I feel like a hamster in a cage, and no matter how hard I work I feel like I've gotten nowhere. Compare that to today, where an awesome idea dawned on me in the shower that allowed me to take the normally boring topic of 'Job interviews' and turn it into something worth doing again. Instead of holding normal job interviews, I had them pretend like it was a blind dating television show. Even better was the fact that the students came up with their own ridiculous jobs and personalities - we had people interviewing for the job of Obama's butler, undertaker, boss of a chocolate factory and NASCAR driver. The answers were spontaneous and incredibly creative: one of the girls who wanted to be an undertaker claimed she would be good at the job because she had a sixth sense and could communicate with dead people, another boy who wanted to be a NASCAR driver said his experience was in driving quickly away from the police.
My kids surprise me on a regular basis. A few weeks ago for April Fool's day, all of the fourth class from one of my Catholic schools traded with the entire fourth class from the girls' school nearby. The teacher was pretty upset, but they had cleared it with both headmasters so she couldn't do anything about it. You've got to admit that it's pretty creative!
There was the time that one of the boys in my class tried to list different natural disasters, including volcanic eruptions. What he said, though, was volcanic erections. He turned bright red when he was called out on it (by me, by the teacher, and by his classmates). It was pretty funny.
There was the group of boys who won the ultimate prize of American candy - Reeses - except when they bit into them they hated them so much that they had to spit the candy out. I wish I had captured their faces on camera. Peanut butter and chocolate together is an incredibly unfamiliar flavor combination to these kids.
I had a kid 100% honestly tell me that he would never live in America because the state doesn't take care of us in ways like providing health care. It caught me off guard. This kid is 16 years old.
And lastly, I recently had someone tell me that they spent the holidays planting 'semen' in their yard. They meant seeds. I guess they're similar....still it's not a mistake that is good to make!
Hope these little gems brightened your day!
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| Coffee at my favorite coffee shop in town - Cafe Alchemie. Another thing that always brings a smile to my face. |
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Frau Professor? What does erections mean? (and other assorted class exerpts)
While I'm uploading my Vienna pictures (yes, from the beginning of December) I decided I'd keep you all amused with some of my very best excerpts from various classes. Not only that, but I am updating in real time! This means I can tell you what's on my mind this very instant. So, currently it is about 9.23 AM. I've already taught one class today and am waiting for my other two to happen here at Borromäum, the Archbishop's school. Classes are up and down, as usual. Some days are better than others; some classes are better than others. It's really difficult seeing each class just once every 3 weeks. The good days make me think that I could actually enjoy being a teacher, and the bad days make me want to jump on a plane immediately and hope that I never see a child under the age of 20 again. I take notes on each class, just so I remember from week to week what I've done. Some of the notes say nothing but "how do I get through to them???"
ANYWAY, now that that's out of the way, please enjoy these tidbits:
- I had a student read a paragraph which included a line about how the British government is really good at sticking their feet in their mouths; my student then proceeded to demonstrate how he, too, could physically stick his foot into his mouth. He's 18 years old.
- In a class on New Years, one of my students wrote that his resolution was to try to be "not so large." I had a hard time not laughing at that one.
- Not a mistake, but still interesting: my students explained to me that Spongebob Squarepants is named Spongebob Spongehead in German. It doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
- When I asked one of my younger classes to describe what Santa looks like, he responded that "Santa has a long white barf.
- An older boy was crawling around on the ground in class. When I asked him what he was doing, he responded that he'd lost his rubber. I calmly explained to him that, though that may be right in British English, in American English that meant he'd lost his condom.
- Not my student, but still cracks me up: one of Fleur's students was trying to say that something pleases him. Instead she told him that he pleasures himself. Yikes.
- Nora, another of the Teaching Assistants, found this excerpt in one of her students' textbooks: In America, you should eat your hamburger with both hands as quickly as possible. You shouldn't try to have a conversation until it is eaten. Clearly the author has been to America!
- Finally, the one you have all been waiting for: in class on Tuesday I told my young students that we would be working on directions. One of my kids raised his hand and asked innocently "Frau Professor, what does erections mean?" I told him what directions meant, but stayed away from explaining what erections are. I don't think the all boys Catholic school would enjoy me explaining the birds and the bees to their students.
ANYWAY, now that that's out of the way, please enjoy these tidbits:
- I had a student read a paragraph which included a line about how the British government is really good at sticking their feet in their mouths; my student then proceeded to demonstrate how he, too, could physically stick his foot into his mouth. He's 18 years old.
- In a class on New Years, one of my students wrote that his resolution was to try to be "not so large." I had a hard time not laughing at that one.
- Not a mistake, but still interesting: my students explained to me that Spongebob Squarepants is named Spongebob Spongehead in German. It doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
- When I asked one of my younger classes to describe what Santa looks like, he responded that "Santa has a long white barf.
- An older boy was crawling around on the ground in class. When I asked him what he was doing, he responded that he'd lost his rubber. I calmly explained to him that, though that may be right in British English, in American English that meant he'd lost his condom.
- Not my student, but still cracks me up: one of Fleur's students was trying to say that something pleases him. Instead she told him that he pleasures himself. Yikes.
- Nora, another of the Teaching Assistants, found this excerpt in one of her students' textbooks: In America, you should eat your hamburger with both hands as quickly as possible. You shouldn't try to have a conversation until it is eaten. Clearly the author has been to America!
- Finally, the one you have all been waiting for: in class on Tuesday I told my young students that we would be working on directions. One of my kids raised his hand and asked innocently "Frau Professor, what does erections mean?" I told him what directions meant, but stayed away from explaining what erections are. I don't think the all boys Catholic school would enjoy me explaining the birds and the bees to their students.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Prague part one
I must admit: Prague and Budapest were never high on my list of places to visit. I think it is because I had absolutely no expectations about them. I had heard that both cities are beautiful, but the only images that my brain would conjure up were those of cold, gray, communist cities; the kind of images you would see in a movie, where all of the filming is done with a blue filter to make everything look dreary. So, though I was slightly terrified, we decided to go to these two 'eastern' cities because they were new, different, and much much cheaper than anything else we could find.
On Wednesday afternoon we boarded the train to Prague. We found a compartment that would seat the five of us together - the five of us being Maija, Fleur, Dave, Nick and me. The train went through Linz, where we changed trains and headed straight to Prague. Maija and I get extremely motion sick, so we made sure not to book a journey that included bus travel. Our first train was lovely; our second train, not so much. We nicknamed the train's bathroom the 'rabies bathroom' since we probably caught something just from walking in. Don't worry, we doused ourselves in hand sanitizer when we were done.
Minus the bathrooms, our second train was good. We relaxed and watched the sun set over the Czech countryside. Then suddenly the conductor opened the door to our compartment. He grunted some words at us in Czech, which we clearly didn't understand. We asked him to clarify in English, and he responded, "You get out at next stop. Take bus." Um, what? Was this really the train to Prague? "Yes. Take bus to train. Train to Prague." Oh lord. The train was only two cars long, and everyone seemed to have gotten the same message. If everyone else was going, it couldn't be that bad, right?
The train stopped in the middle of nowhere. No station was in sight. It was pitch black minus some bright spotlights on the tracks. We clamored out into the cold dark, luggage in hand, crossed some more tracks, and were ushered into four waiting buses. Thank god we were together. I can only imagine how terrified I would have been by myself. But together, it was just another adventure, though I'm not sure everyone else saw it that way. Fleur looked terrified, and Maija made some comment about how they were actually taking us to Auschwitz, not Prague. Luckily we made it safely back onto another train, and could see the signs to Praha (Prague in Czech) pointing in the direction that we were going. An hour later we were in Prague with a good story; not long after, we had exchanged some money into Czech korunas (or 'Funny Money') and taken a taxi to the hostel. The taxi driver ripped us off a little, but after our train adventure that was the least of our worries. We settled ourselves into our hostel, the Czech Inn. The name was the source of great amusement, especially when I announced that we would like to check in, completely oblivious to the pun I had made. Everyone else caught it, though, and died laughing. Anyway, we settled ourselves in and had a nice drink and meal before heading off to bed.
On Wednesday afternoon we boarded the train to Prague. We found a compartment that would seat the five of us together - the five of us being Maija, Fleur, Dave, Nick and me. The train went through Linz, where we changed trains and headed straight to Prague. Maija and I get extremely motion sick, so we made sure not to book a journey that included bus travel. Our first train was lovely; our second train, not so much. We nicknamed the train's bathroom the 'rabies bathroom' since we probably caught something just from walking in. Don't worry, we doused ourselves in hand sanitizer when we were done.
Minus the bathrooms, our second train was good. We relaxed and watched the sun set over the Czech countryside. Then suddenly the conductor opened the door to our compartment. He grunted some words at us in Czech, which we clearly didn't understand. We asked him to clarify in English, and he responded, "You get out at next stop. Take bus." Um, what? Was this really the train to Prague? "Yes. Take bus to train. Train to Prague." Oh lord. The train was only two cars long, and everyone seemed to have gotten the same message. If everyone else was going, it couldn't be that bad, right?
The train stopped in the middle of nowhere. No station was in sight. It was pitch black minus some bright spotlights on the tracks. We clamored out into the cold dark, luggage in hand, crossed some more tracks, and were ushered into four waiting buses. Thank god we were together. I can only imagine how terrified I would have been by myself. But together, it was just another adventure, though I'm not sure everyone else saw it that way. Fleur looked terrified, and Maija made some comment about how they were actually taking us to Auschwitz, not Prague. Luckily we made it safely back onto another train, and could see the signs to Praha (Prague in Czech) pointing in the direction that we were going. An hour later we were in Prague with a good story; not long after, we had exchanged some money into Czech korunas (or 'Funny Money') and taken a taxi to the hostel. The taxi driver ripped us off a little, but after our train adventure that was the least of our worries. We settled ourselves into our hostel, the Czech Inn. The name was the source of great amusement, especially when I announced that we would like to check in, completely oblivious to the pun I had made. Everyone else caught it, though, and died laughing. Anyway, we settled ourselves in and had a nice drink and meal before heading off to bed.
My 1,000 koruna bill
The next day we set out to explore our surroundings. Our plan was to get the free tour of the city at 10AM, but we didn't make it until the 2PM tour. We got mildly lost on our way to the city center, but managed to regain our bearings in time for lunch. We even stumbled upon a fabulous festival in the middle of the city, complete with delicious bratwursts. We also found a Starbucks, which worked wonders.
The free tour was fabulous - I highly recommend it to anyone who visits. Naturally, you tip at the end if your tour was fun. Ours certainly was. Our tour guide, Filip, was a Prague native, and promised to make us "Czechsperts" by the end of the day. We learned a ton about the city - about how it used to be one of the richest cities in Europe, how it was beloved by kings and composers, and how it suffered through the Cold War. The people of Prague seem to be a cheeky bunch. Their go-to move for confusing enemy troops seems to have been mixing up street signs so that the invaders got lost. And though the city suffered a great deal, it's clear that it houses incredible amounts of history.
At the end of the day we were wiped and headed back to the hostel. We had planned on going out to experience the nightlife, but one bad round of goulash made me feel awful, and we decided to rest up for the next day's adventures instead.
The free tour was fabulous - I highly recommend it to anyone who visits. Naturally, you tip at the end if your tour was fun. Ours certainly was. Our tour guide, Filip, was a Prague native, and promised to make us "Czechsperts" by the end of the day. We learned a ton about the city - about how it used to be one of the richest cities in Europe, how it was beloved by kings and composers, and how it suffered through the Cold War. The people of Prague seem to be a cheeky bunch. Their go-to move for confusing enemy troops seems to have been mixing up street signs so that the invaders got lost. And though the city suffered a great deal, it's clear that it houses incredible amounts of history.
At the end of the day we were wiped and headed back to the hostel. We had planned on going out to experience the nightlife, but one bad round of goulash made me feel awful, and we decided to rest up for the next day's adventures instead.
Really long Czech word
Nick checking the map
Dave, Maija, me, Nick
Food festival
I was endlessly amused by the Super Vafle sign. They were actually really tasty!
Giant vat of potatoes
Fleur and Maija with their bratwursts
Astronomical clock tower
The ladies
At the end of the chiming clock, a trumpeter comes out and signals that the spectacle is over. It's been voted the most disappointing tourist attraction in the world.
Prices in Czech Funny Money
Old Town center. The towers on the building are two different sizes. There are two stories about this: one is that they represent Adam and Eve, the other that the building supplies were lost or stolen before the second tower was complete, so they just made one tower a little smaller. I definitely would not be surprised if the second were true.
The astronomical clock (which nobody can actually read) has four figures surrounding it that represent the four greatest fears of the Czech people: vanity, Jews, death, Turks. Oh dear.
Then we found a woman walking a lion.
The Museum of Communism right next to the McDonald's. Perfect.
Cubist building
The inside of a beautiful church
The thing that's hanging is the arm of a thief that apparently tried to steal from the statue of the Virgin Mary. The lesson? Don't steal from virgins.
We enjoyed our first taste of bagels since the US
Me with the Kafka statue
Spanish Synagogue
Spanish Synagogue
Hugo Boss in the Jewish Quarter. The irony is that Hugo Boss designed the Nazi uniforms.
The building on the left supposedly houses the Golem of Prague
Jewish Quarter
Golem's resting place
Ah, Prague
I think this is a statue of a composer, but to be honest, I have no idea. The light was beautiful, though.
The ladies with our tour guide, Filip
Czech goulash in a bread bowlWednesday, October 13, 2010
Oktoberfest
One of the many 10Euro beers of Oktoberfest
Oh, Oktoberfest. What an adventure. Everything is totally out of order because of how long it takes to upload posts with tons of photos, but that's how it goes. Time-wise, this post should be directly after my post about leaving the US, so please just imagine that it's there.
My flight to Munich got off to a slow start. I had to pay an extra $50 for my bag because, though I'd booked the flight through US Air, the flight was operated by Lufthansa and therefore I had to abide by the Lufthansa rules and regulations, which state that I can only have one piece of luggage. Yeah right. The security guy, thinking he was funny, asked "how long are you going for, anyway?" When I responded one to two years, he shut up pretty quickly. After making it through security, I discovered that my flight had been delayed by two hours. And I was already two hours early. So I found myself some food and a nice corner with a book, and waited.
The flight itself went off without a hitch. I took two Tylenol PMs and passed out for most of the 7 hour flight, which really helped me avoid jet lag and made it so that I could head immediately to Oktoberfest when I landed, though with a few detours first. I stopped by the hostel to try and shower, change and unload my things. But when I got there, things were a mess. The hostel was clearly overwhelmed with tourists enjoying the party, and the women who worked there looked like they needed a break. I tried to check in, but they told me I couldn't until 3. And then they handed me two keys. To two separate rooms. Even though I had booked two beds in the same room (one for me and one for my friend Al). Hmm. I couldn't be bothered to deal with it, and the woman had clearly exhausted her compromise abilities on the loud Australians in line in front of me, so instead I took my luggage to the storage lockers, locked myself in the girls bathroom and tried to look less like I'd just spent 4 hours in an airport and 7 hours sleeping sitting up. Then I met Al at the train station.
Al (Alexandra, but Al for short) is one of my friends from Bowdoin, and actually a former roommate of mine. She happened to be traveling around Europe, and we decided to meet in Munich for the 'fest. Thank goodness. Oktoberfest is one of those things that you're glad you've been to and remember fondly as a crazy and slightly stressful time. These feelings were probably exacerbated by the fact that I was a little tired from traveling, and a little anxious about Salzburg and my impending adventure. But I think I would have had a lot less fun had I gone by myself.
Together, Al and I got our rooms straightened out. Another lady helped us switch into a 6 bed female dorm for the first night, and a 6 bed mixed dorm for the second (as well she should have, since that's what we'd paid for). And when we could finally get into our rooms at 3, we dropped our things and headed out for a beer. A 10Euro beer, to be exact. And plenty of wurst.
Oktoberfest was nothing like what I'd expected. Well, that's a lie. There were certainly plenty of dirndls and lederhosen, drunk tourists, drunk Germans, and pretzels. But you can't wander around with a beer in your hand - you have to order one and finish it in a tent or in the biergarten outside of the tent. It's not in a field, but on a giant concrete area in the middle of nowhere. And I was definitely unprepared for the amount of rides that are there. So. Many. Rides. So many drunken tourists, too. And so much fun.
Kaci joined us the second day. Kaci and I wore our dirndls, and Al bought an awesome hat, and crazy tourists would try to take pictures with us (even after we'd told them we were American). We - mostly Al - got assaulted by a drunken Frenchman who'd lost his friends in the tent; we were unable to get beers inside of a tent but got plenty in the biergarten outside; we sang, we got inappropriately jostled, and we left totally Oktoberfested-out. Whereupon a drunken Australian boy from our mixed dorm room tried to climb into bed with me. When I asked what he thought he was doing, he responded with, "Well do you want me to join you or not?" What?? NO! Then he proceeded to climb into his own bunk and snore loudly the entire night. Really funny in retrospect, really annoying at the time.
The next day we did not return to the 'fest. Instead, Kaci met up with friends from Fulbright, and Al and I headed down to Salzburg - my new home.
My flight to Munich got off to a slow start. I had to pay an extra $50 for my bag because, though I'd booked the flight through US Air, the flight was operated by Lufthansa and therefore I had to abide by the Lufthansa rules and regulations, which state that I can only have one piece of luggage. Yeah right. The security guy, thinking he was funny, asked "how long are you going for, anyway?" When I responded one to two years, he shut up pretty quickly. After making it through security, I discovered that my flight had been delayed by two hours. And I was already two hours early. So I found myself some food and a nice corner with a book, and waited.
The flight itself went off without a hitch. I took two Tylenol PMs and passed out for most of the 7 hour flight, which really helped me avoid jet lag and made it so that I could head immediately to Oktoberfest when I landed, though with a few detours first. I stopped by the hostel to try and shower, change and unload my things. But when I got there, things were a mess. The hostel was clearly overwhelmed with tourists enjoying the party, and the women who worked there looked like they needed a break. I tried to check in, but they told me I couldn't until 3. And then they handed me two keys. To two separate rooms. Even though I had booked two beds in the same room (one for me and one for my friend Al). Hmm. I couldn't be bothered to deal with it, and the woman had clearly exhausted her compromise abilities on the loud Australians in line in front of me, so instead I took my luggage to the storage lockers, locked myself in the girls bathroom and tried to look less like I'd just spent 4 hours in an airport and 7 hours sleeping sitting up. Then I met Al at the train station.
Al (Alexandra, but Al for short) is one of my friends from Bowdoin, and actually a former roommate of mine. She happened to be traveling around Europe, and we decided to meet in Munich for the 'fest. Thank goodness. Oktoberfest is one of those things that you're glad you've been to and remember fondly as a crazy and slightly stressful time. These feelings were probably exacerbated by the fact that I was a little tired from traveling, and a little anxious about Salzburg and my impending adventure. But I think I would have had a lot less fun had I gone by myself.
Together, Al and I got our rooms straightened out. Another lady helped us switch into a 6 bed female dorm for the first night, and a 6 bed mixed dorm for the second (as well she should have, since that's what we'd paid for). And when we could finally get into our rooms at 3, we dropped our things and headed out for a beer. A 10Euro beer, to be exact. And plenty of wurst.
Oktoberfest was nothing like what I'd expected. Well, that's a lie. There were certainly plenty of dirndls and lederhosen, drunk tourists, drunk Germans, and pretzels. But you can't wander around with a beer in your hand - you have to order one and finish it in a tent or in the biergarten outside of the tent. It's not in a field, but on a giant concrete area in the middle of nowhere. And I was definitely unprepared for the amount of rides that are there. So. Many. Rides. So many drunken tourists, too. And so much fun.
Kaci joined us the second day. Kaci and I wore our dirndls, and Al bought an awesome hat, and crazy tourists would try to take pictures with us (even after we'd told them we were American). We - mostly Al - got assaulted by a drunken Frenchman who'd lost his friends in the tent; we were unable to get beers inside of a tent but got plenty in the biergarten outside; we sang, we got inappropriately jostled, and we left totally Oktoberfested-out. Whereupon a drunken Australian boy from our mixed dorm room tried to climb into bed with me. When I asked what he thought he was doing, he responded with, "Well do you want me to join you or not?" What?? NO! Then he proceeded to climb into his own bunk and snore loudly the entire night. Really funny in retrospect, really annoying at the time.
The next day we did not return to the 'fest. Instead, Kaci met up with friends from Fulbright, and Al and I headed down to Salzburg - my new home.
Paulaner Beer Tent (yes, that's a tent)
The inside of the Paulaner beer tent, complete with Oompah band. Later people would be standing, dancing and singing on the tables.
First beer of Oktoberfest, fresh off the plane
Al and her first beer
GIANT pretzel
Cheers!
Trying on hats
Yet another beer tent. This one had a rotating pig on a spit.
That's more like it. This is what the inside of so many tents looked like - lederhosen and dirndl-filled debauchery
I had no idea how many rides were going to be at Oktoberfest
We rode this
Al, taking pictures from the ferris wheel
The sunset from the inside of the wheel
Oktoberfest from above
Us in the ferris wheel
More of Oktoberfest from above
Rides
More rides
So many gingerbread hearts! I'm still not entirely sure if eating them is a good idea...
We rode this the next day
Oh Munich, how I've missed you
Reunited with Kaci at Oktoberfest! We're both wearing our dirndls
Al eating weißwurst, and being totally grossed out by the texture. It is a little phallic...
Al and Kaci
Al, totally nervous about the fact that we were going on the tallest ride at Oktoberfest
Kaci took pictures of us from below
The ride!
The view!
Totally pissed that I made her go on the ride
Trying on Oktoberfest hats! Photo credit goes to Kaci
Obligatory photo
Obligatory photo x2
In front of the Hofbräu beer cart
The official Oktoberfest poster
More ridiculous beer tent sculptures. This one had smoke coming out of it
Too much partying at Oktoberfest?
Polar bears, and a prime example of Bayerish german (if it were normal german, it would say 'ich mag dich')
My favorite shirt. It says 'I hug my boyfriend'. I love it when things get lost in translation
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