While I'm uploading my Vienna pictures (yes, from the beginning of December) I decided I'd keep you all amused with some of my very best excerpts from various classes. Not only that, but I am updating in real time! This means I can tell you what's on my mind this very instant. So, currently it is about 9.23 AM. I've already taught one class today and am waiting for my other two to happen here at Borromäum, the Archbishop's school. Classes are up and down, as usual. Some days are better than others; some classes are better than others. It's really difficult seeing each class just once every 3 weeks. The good days make me think that I could actually enjoy being a teacher, and the bad days make me want to jump on a plane immediately and hope that I never see a child under the age of 20 again. I take notes on each class, just so I remember from week to week what I've done. Some of the notes say nothing but "how do I get through to them???"
ANYWAY, now that that's out of the way, please enjoy these tidbits:
- I had a student read a paragraph which included a line about how the British government is really good at sticking their feet in their mouths; my student then proceeded to demonstrate how he, too, could physically stick his foot into his mouth. He's 18 years old.
- In a class on New Years, one of my students wrote that his resolution was to try to be "not so large." I had a hard time not laughing at that one.
- Not a mistake, but still interesting: my students explained to me that Spongebob Squarepants is named Spongebob Spongehead in German. It doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
- When I asked one of my younger classes to describe what Santa looks like, he responded that "Santa has a long white barf.
- An older boy was crawling around on the ground in class. When I asked him what he was doing, he responded that he'd lost his rubber. I calmly explained to him that, though that may be right in British English, in American English that meant he'd lost his condom.
- Not my student, but still cracks me up: one of Fleur's students was trying to say that something pleases him. Instead she told him that he pleasures himself. Yikes.
- Nora, another of the Teaching Assistants, found this excerpt in one of her students' textbooks: In America, you should eat your hamburger with both hands as quickly as possible. You shouldn't try to have a conversation until it is eaten. Clearly the author has been to America!
- Finally, the one you have all been waiting for: in class on Tuesday I told my young students that we would be working on directions. One of my kids raised his hand and asked innocently "Frau Professor, what does erections mean?" I told him what directions meant, but stayed away from explaining what erections are. I don't think the all boys Catholic school would enjoy me explaining the birds and the bees to their students.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Krampus!
Sometimes there are things about Austria that make me go "what on earth are they thinking??" Krampus is one of those things.
The Kramperl (plural of Krampus) are these creatures dressed in furry yeti/wookie outfits with terrifying devil masks. They wear bells so you know they are coming, and carry whips or switches with which they beat you. Sometimes they stuff you in a sack and carry you off.
The Kramperl are a good example of how the Christmas wires and the Pagan wires got crossed somewhere. Apparently (as far as I can tell, anyway) the original version of the Kramperl are these pagan characters called Perchten. The Perchten are the demon henchmen of Frau Perchta (whose English name is Bertha). They represent the cold, dark, alpine winters. When Perchta appears, she sends the Perchten to the bad individuals....for what exactly is kind of unclear. To beat sense into them? Intimidate them? I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, traditionally these creatures came with Perchta, but today the Kramperl show up with St. Nicholas to do essentially the same thing.
St. Nicholas - who is NOT Santa, according to my students - shows up on the 6th of December. He is the former Archbishop of somewhere in Turkey, and became what he is today because of one time when he gave some golden apples to underprivileged children. Nowadays he shows up to put candy and money and sometimes fruit into childrens' shoes. Sometimes he shows up at your door, and almost always he shows up with a giant book which tells him whether you've been naughty or nice. If you've been nice, you get the goodies; if you've been naughty, he sends a Krampus after you.
The best part of this all, though, is that in the days leading up to St. Nicholas day, the Kramperl are allowed to wander the streets intimidating children (and young women who have received Fulbright scholarships). There are even Krampus parades that you can go see if you're brave. I desperately wanted to see one of these, so when Catherine Jäger, a friend from college and fellow Fulbright scholar, came to visit, we went out looking for one. We didn't look very far - the Krampuslauf (Krampus parade) was happening on the street outside of my house. It's actually terrifying. Imagine being totally clueless, thinking you're walking down the street like you would any other night, and suddenly hearing cow bells followed by the sound of whips cracking and children screaming bloody murder. And when you finally see the Kramperl, they chase you, beat you, and potentially try to steal you. All of these things happened to me while Jäger stood around laughing and taking pictures.
The Krampus, sneaking up on an unsuspecting woman
I got a picture with one!
This one stole my hat and then tried to steal me
Being stolen by a Krampus
Maija and her new Krampus friend. Check out the handcarved wooden mask the guy is wearing!
Jäger (left) and Maija (right) and me enjoying some mulled wine after our encounter with the Krampus
Jäger and I sent this picture off to the Bowdoin magazine. Hopefully we'll be in a publication soon! The German Department said it would end up on their website, as did the office of Fellowships and Grants, but I have yet to see it in either of those places.
Me, Maija, Fleur and Jäger in front of Mirabell gardens, with the castle up above
Jäger, Maija and Fleur
The Kramperl (plural of Krampus) are these creatures dressed in furry yeti/wookie outfits with terrifying devil masks. They wear bells so you know they are coming, and carry whips or switches with which they beat you. Sometimes they stuff you in a sack and carry you off.
The Kramperl are a good example of how the Christmas wires and the Pagan wires got crossed somewhere. Apparently (as far as I can tell, anyway) the original version of the Kramperl are these pagan characters called Perchten. The Perchten are the demon henchmen of Frau Perchta (whose English name is Bertha). They represent the cold, dark, alpine winters. When Perchta appears, she sends the Perchten to the bad individuals....for what exactly is kind of unclear. To beat sense into them? Intimidate them? I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, traditionally these creatures came with Perchta, but today the Kramperl show up with St. Nicholas to do essentially the same thing.
St. Nicholas - who is NOT Santa, according to my students - shows up on the 6th of December. He is the former Archbishop of somewhere in Turkey, and became what he is today because of one time when he gave some golden apples to underprivileged children. Nowadays he shows up to put candy and money and sometimes fruit into childrens' shoes. Sometimes he shows up at your door, and almost always he shows up with a giant book which tells him whether you've been naughty or nice. If you've been nice, you get the goodies; if you've been naughty, he sends a Krampus after you.
The best part of this all, though, is that in the days leading up to St. Nicholas day, the Kramperl are allowed to wander the streets intimidating children (and young women who have received Fulbright scholarships). There are even Krampus parades that you can go see if you're brave. I desperately wanted to see one of these, so when Catherine Jäger, a friend from college and fellow Fulbright scholar, came to visit, we went out looking for one. We didn't look very far - the Krampuslauf (Krampus parade) was happening on the street outside of my house. It's actually terrifying. Imagine being totally clueless, thinking you're walking down the street like you would any other night, and suddenly hearing cow bells followed by the sound of whips cracking and children screaming bloody murder. And when you finally see the Kramperl, they chase you, beat you, and potentially try to steal you. All of these things happened to me while Jäger stood around laughing and taking pictures.
The Krampus, sneaking up on an unsuspecting woman
I got a picture with one!
This one stole my hat and then tried to steal me
Being stolen by a Krampus
Maija and her new Krampus friend. Check out the handcarved wooden mask the guy is wearing!
Jäger (left) and Maija (right) and me enjoying some mulled wine after our encounter with the Krampus
Jäger and I sent this picture off to the Bowdoin magazine. Hopefully we'll be in a publication soon! The German Department said it would end up on their website, as did the office of Fellowships and Grants, but I have yet to see it in either of those places.
Me, Maija, Fleur and Jäger in front of Mirabell gardens, with the castle up above
Jäger, Maija and FleurTuesday, January 11, 2011
Thanksgiving, Austria Edition
Pumpkin cookies
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. To be fair, who doesn't love eating tons of delicious food, appreciating good company, and eventually passing out wherever the tryptophan kicks in?
This year was my very fist Thanksgiving away from my family. That's right - in all of my 23 years, Thanksgiving 2010 was the first totally and completely away from the Forbringer clan. Last year I tried to celebrate with Dan's family, but ended up flying back that weekend anyway. So this year was going to be something totally new; an exciting experience with the potential to be totally amazing or totally disastrous. I think we knew all along that there was no way it could turn out terribly, though I had my doubts when it came time to find the necessary ingredients.
There are quite a few Americans in Salzburg, so we decided on a potluck-style Thanksgiving feast, with each of us making enough of our favorite Thanksgiving dishes to feed an army of hungry foreigners. My tasks: pie and cornbread. Which quickly turned to pie, cornbread and cookies once I received the cookie cutters my mom sent me for Halloween. Though I couldn't quite justify the ghost and bat -shaped cutters, I managed to use the pumpkins and (my personal favorites) the cutters shaped like America. In addition, I helped the formerly vegetarian Maija with the Turkey (though she definitely did 99% of the work). The gravy, however, was 100% my job.
Finding the necessary ingredients was quite the challenge. There is no such thing as crisco here, nor is there a supply of canned pumpkin. All pumpkin comes from the vegetable itself, which (thankfully) I did not end up having to do. Even more challenging is the fact that ALL squash is called Kurbis - butternut, acorn, pumpkin, summer, you name it. No differentiation. Thank goodness my task was apple pie, not pumpkin. Still, there doesn't seem to be anywhere to buy pie tins in all of Austria (or Germany for that matter). I eventually used some makeshift, funny-shaped tins from IKEA that did the trick but weren't ideal. Also difficult to locate: vanilla extract, baking soda, baking powder, brown sugar and turkeys. Yes, turkeys. We finally found two medium sized birds, unfrozen, and worked with those. Thank goodness - Thanksgiving just wouldn't have been right without one (or two) large turkeys.
Dinner itself was hosted at Maija's. As I mentioned, each of the Americans brought food to share. Our feast consisted of: antipasto, two turkeys, chestnut stuffing, sweet potatoes, cornbread, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans with onion, cookies, apple pie, pumpkin pie and pecan pie. Any Brits/Germans/Austrians who joined brought beverages as their contributions.
I think I would call it a success. I might even go so far as to call it a great success. Even without the company of my real family, my family of Salzburg Fulbrighters made it feel like a slice of home right here in Austria. And I came away with some stellar recipes - assuming Mom is willing to let us upgrade from Pepperidge Farms stuffing to chestnut stuffing.
This year was my very fist Thanksgiving away from my family. That's right - in all of my 23 years, Thanksgiving 2010 was the first totally and completely away from the Forbringer clan. Last year I tried to celebrate with Dan's family, but ended up flying back that weekend anyway. So this year was going to be something totally new; an exciting experience with the potential to be totally amazing or totally disastrous. I think we knew all along that there was no way it could turn out terribly, though I had my doubts when it came time to find the necessary ingredients.
There are quite a few Americans in Salzburg, so we decided on a potluck-style Thanksgiving feast, with each of us making enough of our favorite Thanksgiving dishes to feed an army of hungry foreigners. My tasks: pie and cornbread. Which quickly turned to pie, cornbread and cookies once I received the cookie cutters my mom sent me for Halloween. Though I couldn't quite justify the ghost and bat -shaped cutters, I managed to use the pumpkins and (my personal favorites) the cutters shaped like America. In addition, I helped the formerly vegetarian Maija with the Turkey (though she definitely did 99% of the work). The gravy, however, was 100% my job.
Finding the necessary ingredients was quite the challenge. There is no such thing as crisco here, nor is there a supply of canned pumpkin. All pumpkin comes from the vegetable itself, which (thankfully) I did not end up having to do. Even more challenging is the fact that ALL squash is called Kurbis - butternut, acorn, pumpkin, summer, you name it. No differentiation. Thank goodness my task was apple pie, not pumpkin. Still, there doesn't seem to be anywhere to buy pie tins in all of Austria (or Germany for that matter). I eventually used some makeshift, funny-shaped tins from IKEA that did the trick but weren't ideal. Also difficult to locate: vanilla extract, baking soda, baking powder, brown sugar and turkeys. Yes, turkeys. We finally found two medium sized birds, unfrozen, and worked with those. Thank goodness - Thanksgiving just wouldn't have been right without one (or two) large turkeys.
Dinner itself was hosted at Maija's. As I mentioned, each of the Americans brought food to share. Our feast consisted of: antipasto, two turkeys, chestnut stuffing, sweet potatoes, cornbread, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans with onion, cookies, apple pie, pumpkin pie and pecan pie. Any Brits/Germans/Austrians who joined brought beverages as their contributions.
I think I would call it a success. I might even go so far as to call it a great success. Even without the company of my real family, my family of Salzburg Fulbrighters made it feel like a slice of home right here in Austria. And I came away with some stellar recipes - assuming Mom is willing to let us upgrade from Pepperidge Farms stuffing to chestnut stuffing.
Pumpkin cookies and cookies shaped like America (thanks to Mom's cookie cutters)
The setup
From left: Dave, Mary, Ali, Anne Marie, Brendan, Nick
Leslie with one of my America cookies! They were a big hit
Maija, hostess with the mostest
The bird (one of two)
Me, making gravy. Photo courtesy of Ali
Some of the group hanging out waiting for the food to be done
From left: Emily, Ali and Nick
Happy Thanksgiving!
Cheers-ing
Ali's plate of food
A little mood-lighting
Leslie cracking up over Ja! brand whipped cream
Post dinner, when the tryptophan started to kick in
Dave and Brendan, enjoying the whipped cream
From left: Maija, Emily, me, AliMonday, January 10, 2011
Necessary Updates
Maija and me, super excited to see Harry Potter (in English!)
I cannot believe I have already been in Salzburg for half a year. I still don't feel like I've mastered this whole living in a foreign country thing, but maybe I never will. And I certainly haven't mastered this whole keeping up with my blog thing. I guess some things never change!
Anyway, between Fall Break and Thanksgiving, not much happened. We FINALLY got paid (two months after arriving, thank you), saw Harry Potter, and slowly got used to life in Salzburg. It snowed, then got warm again, then snowed in time for a white Christmas - and just in time to screw up most flights in and out of Europe. But that story is for one of the next few posts. It's dawned on me that I haven't even written about Thanksgiving yet, and yet here it is, 11 days into the new year. Yikes...
Anyway, between Fall Break and Thanksgiving, not much happened. We FINALLY got paid (two months after arriving, thank you), saw Harry Potter, and slowly got used to life in Salzburg. It snowed, then got warm again, then snowed in time for a white Christmas - and just in time to screw up most flights in and out of Europe. But that story is for one of the next few posts. It's dawned on me that I haven't even written about Thanksgiving yet, and yet here it is, 11 days into the new year. Yikes...
Celebrating our first pay-day with champagne on the Steinterrasse, a restaurant with the most beautiful view of the city
The view from the Steinterrasse
Our champagne
A normal Austrian vending machine - coke, coke ,red bull, juice....beer.
The view of the mountains from Schloss Leopoldskrone (the house used as the Von Trapp house in the Sound of Music). Maija and I found this accidentally while walking on one of the last beautiful fall days.
Swan
Crazy looking ducks
Ugly-duckling swan
Leopoldskrone aka the Von Trapp house
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